Let there be faith…it IS all completely different.

by smartini on November 11, 2012

Well, its been two weeks.  (see my last post: http://sarahmartini.com/2012/10/26/it-will-all-be-completely-different/) and holy cow.  I mean, I was waiting in watchful anticipation for what the universe would present me in the 14 days from that surreal moment when the shopkeeper at a random shoe store in Athens briefly transported me to another dimension, and here we are.

That evening, I was in Athens still, I could feel my return to the states would be sooner than expected, but no definite plans for my return had been made yet.  Honestly, everything was shifting so quickly from the stories and expectations I had created for myself that I was feeling slightly underwater about what could possibly be coming next.  I realize now that I had spent the last months energetically allowing the possibility of making Greece my new home.  I had been telling myself (and everyone else) that I was making a point to not write the end of the story before I tasted the beginning and middle.  And here I was, experiencing it–realizing its not in alignment for me, and what do I discover but that I had in fact been writing the ending–it was a happily-ever-after-fairy-tale ending. The ending I had consciously not been writing was the go-back-to-the-states ending, and yet, that is now the path I’m choosing.

I’m writing this entry from some friends’ house in Palm Springs.  Just a hop, skip and a jump from Athens, right? 😉 I’m nestled in the corner of a giant minimalist sofa on the polished cement floors of this renovated midcentury desert paradise.  Frank Sinatra and Nat King Cole are playing in the background.  Through the glass wall that faces me, I glance over and see the shimmering pool, citrus trees spilling with fruit and palm trees towering into the deep blue sky. I’m drinking in all this lovely and in awe at how IT IS ALL COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.  If there is any spiritual law that I have accepted whole-heartedly over the last years, it is that of faith, of expecting the best, the law of attraction–put it out there, wait for it–in gratitude, in expectation, while vibrating in the energetic space that matches what you’re creating–then, just ALLOW.

So, although I had no idea what was to come next, although I was a little sad for what wasn’t to be and nervous about the new, unknown path I’m now taking, I have seen enough times in my life that something good is ALWAYS around the corner. One simply has to learn how to define ‘good’, or perhaps see the good in all things.  After looking at my chart, an astrologer once told me that I have the luck of Oprah.  Maybe so, from an astrology standpoint, but I only give that so much heedance.  I think it might have a lot more to do with the fact that I simply expect, and expectations are fulfilled.  I have been surprised at the wonderful things that have come into my life so many times, that I’m no longer surprised.  Instead I’m simply grateful.  But there is a difference between grateful expectation and taking things for granted.  When I’m conscious enough to recognize the greatness that comes into my sphere, I take it as my personal assignment to give back, to pass it on.  Pay it forward, if you will.  And its my belief, that as long as I’m contributing as much as I’m receiving, the momentum of that dynamic will carry me forward to the next best thing and the next and the next. For me and for those around me.  Call me idealistic, but I’m tellin’ ya – its what I tangibly experience to be true–its what I see, feel and taste, so it I’m stickin’ to it.

What has happened in the last two weeks, then?  It was a Friday evening when that shopkeeper declared to me “It will all be completely different, not in 3 months, you will see, but in 2 weeks.”  On Monday I was on a plane home to LA.  Especially with facing all the unknown, I wasn’t necessarily in a rush to come home, but that’s when the awards flights were open, so I took it.  This flight involved an overnight in London, and upon arrival at the darling little last-minute room I booked before leaving, I just had to giggle when I was greeted with towels formed into love-bird-swans on the bed. Am I in Notting Hill, or am I on the Love Boat right now?  Its just darling. And, see??  There is love waiting for me!  I just have to open the door to it. That night, I share fish and chips and a pint of guinness with an old friend and tuck in for the night, so grateful to be sleeping on an actual bed before making the transatlantic journey home. On my way back to Heathrow in the morning, I take pre-dawn walk through neighboring Hyde Park.  I breathe in the grey  mist and contemplate on gratitude.  But I also allow myself the indulgence (or perhaps I should say necessity) of really feeling the sadness that has crept in.  I recognize that in order to get past the tough stuff,  you have to face it, pretending it doesn’t exist will not make it go away.

I made it back to LA safe and sound.  My ‘sister-friend’, Sarah, has been kind enough to let me stay in her guest room  in between travels, these last couple months–after I gave up my apartment.  I settled back into my room there–unpacked my suitcases, signed up for an apartment search engine and began letting my friends know I’m home.

Independently of each other, two of my best friends had spent the better part of the last three months apartment searching, so I was fully prepared for my search to go on for quite a while.  I wrote down a wish list for my new home and began spreading the word.  But I sure never expected it to be quite as easy as it was.  Four days after the familiar sensation washed over me of airplane wheels bouncing down safely at LAX, I found myself walking through Jen’s new neighborhood.  Her apartment search had spanned all of the westside of Los Angeles, and her wish list and price range were comparable to mine.  Both she and David, my other friend who had been apartment searching had been having a heckuva time scheduling viewings, assuming the places they found were even available still by the time the managed to get a landlord to call them back. But in that single sun-filled weekend, exploring this adorable beach town of Redondo Beach, her corner of which is nick-named the Riviera for its sparkling bue water (oddly bluer than in Santa Monica), I managed to not only happen upon, but see inside, fall in love with and get approved for not one but two potential new homes!

It became clear to me that my lesson in this, the area for growth being presented, was not about patience or perseverance, but rather about making an empowered, self-directed choice.  I had applied for both places: one an adorable, sun-drenched pink and white guest house with three small rooms and a private backyard in a quiet residential neighborhood; the other a more typical one-bedroom apartment in a small complex, a literal stone’s throw away from the water and the adorable main street area filled with coffee shops, yuppy bars and restaurants, and unique local shops.  Now, here’s where it got interesting, though the guest house had every single item on the list I had written for my dream home, I couldn’t ignore the inexplicable feeling of isolation I felt when I envisioned my life there.  So, even though the one-bedroom on Avenue H didn’t have the same level of showy charm as the guest house, because I felt a sense of community, focus and new possibility there – I decided to go for that one.

Well, with a new home being so quickly checked off my list, I’m clearly not meant to be spending all my time and energy on that search.  Next on the list was income.  Now that I have a new home base, probably I should figure out how I’ll pay the rent every month.  My most recent income stream: PR & Marketing consulting for clients in the personal finance industry, shifted a few months back, allowing me space for the much needed physical healing, self exploration and travel that has filled my time of late. And my most recent gig, working with a high profile sponsor of the 2012 Olympic Games in London, provided enough of a nest egg to carry me through this period.  So now, feeling completely brand new in all areas, I have the sense that I could truly do anything or go anywhere–that I’m fortunate enough to have many income options available to me, and that, like the apartment search, its more about making an empowered decision based on my own intuition and inner guidance than it is about the search itself.

I’ve been putting my feelers out to old colleagues, comrades and acquaintances that I am available for new projects, and (how dare I be surprised) potential projects have been coming in on almost a daily basis! To-be-continued on which projects I’ll take, but boy–it seems obvious yet again that my energies need be spent on the choice and execution, rather than the hunt itself.

So, here I am, two weeks later.  Momentarily soaking up the desert sunshine, and now clearly seeing the beach sunshine in my immediate future.  And faith proves itself to me yet again.

Love birds waiting for me in Notting HIll Pre-dawn walk in Hyde Park Soaking up the desert sun.

The view from my new apartment–yes, that is the ocean up ahead.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Ardi Keim November 14, 2012 at 3:57 am

Way to go, Sarah.

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Jessica McCormick November 30, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Beautiful blog Sarah

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Valdir December 24, 2012 at 1:11 am

There happen to be two ways to start. First, is wituhot a penny to you name start looking through yard sales and flea markets. In you travels a suggest a vintage approach, personally selecting unique items. Most of the time you can find very interesting tapestries, rugs, lamps, furniture, ect..,you know stuff to fill up space. Worn furniture is extremely comfortable, and with the right ten dollar blanket from walmart it can look any way you want it to. As far as pictures and knickknacks look for private garage sales and local flea markets, you’d be surprised at the kind of stuff can pick up for a couple dollars, all the while showing a unique personality and a safe conversation peace for nervous dates. Before long you’ll have a sanctuary that is unique and full of positive energy. The second method is to succumb to the shrink rapped disposable society we have become, spend a fortune on furniture and trendy housewares, but beware you might give a quest the feeling of being hermetically sealed in with a person that has the personality of a Bologna sandwich.

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Goutham December 23, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Get a local newspaper and the Sun. one if it’s still avlalabie, and start calling those ads first. Remember to ask ea. place you call if the apts. are in an urban or suburan area so you’ll get an idea of how far the drive to work will be. If you have a pet, ask about the pet deposit. Find out how much the deposit is and wheter or not its refundable (some places don’t refund you the money when you leave), and ask how long of a lease you will have to sign. Also ask wheter or not the apt. is all elec. When you find one you like, get the address and call your local police dept. and tell them you’d like the call history for that address and the surrounding blocks. Don’t forget to do this! When you’re all done, drive by and see what you think and if you like it, set up an appt. w/the manager and bring a money order/check w/you no cash. Then you’ll be all set and ready to put your utilities in your name and get started! Good luck!

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You can always tell an expert! Thanks for contrbiutnig.

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